more gorilla hyjinx

People in gorilla suits are tarnishing my good name and reputation. First, they stand idly by while a neighbor’s house burns.

gorilla watching house fire

Firefighters wrap up at the scene of a fire at 15 M. St. in Hampton this morning, where a home was gutted by two fires this morning. Right, Wayne McGowen, who was sleeping in the basement of the house when it caught fire, watches firefighters at the scene along with neighbor Kali Burns, who was dressed as a gorilla. (JASON SCHREIBER)

That’s bad enough, but then on Halloween, a person in a gorilla suit stabbed someone.

And now, two people in gorilla suits (and one in a chicken suit) punched a kid in the head and then stole his bike. At least it was the chicken-man who stole the bike — the gorillas ran away. Not very gorilla-like of them. Even worse, why are they keeping company with evil chickens?

I hope this isn’t a trend. It gives gorillas a bad name. More importantly, this might be the tip of the iceberg. These are just the gorilla crimes that were noticed. The smart gorillas are probably getting away with white-collar crimes.

2 comments to more gorilla hijinks

  • Michelle Boucher

    My husband and I met our adopted daughter when she was four days old. It was a momentous day. I remember everything about it: what I wore, what I ate in the car driving to the hospital, who we called, where we parked, and how the nurses made an exception and allowed my 17 year old stepson hold the baby. But, my stepson wasn’t there!
    I was convinced he was with us the first time we met our daughter, but when I looked at photos I was wrong. The photos of him holding the baby also show her stats in the background: Baby girl 5 days old (not 4 days old). The strange thing about my recall is the accompanying details I invented surrounding my stepson’s mysterious presence that day.

  • John Simpson

    As to the criminal activities, probably the kind of “intellect” that leads them to believe that wearing a gorilla suit makes them invisible.

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